Yeah, but you look fine!

This article is a little different. September is FASD Awareness Month, and because I live with this condition myself, I want to take a moment to share about it.

"Yeah, but you look fine!"

"With all the things you can do, why is this so hard for you?"

A normal moment becomes one of weight. Feeling unseen and misunderstood. Sometimes the brain trips over itself. When it happens once, it's a hiccup. When it happens over and over, it's neurodivergence. When it's diagnosable and lifelong, it's a disability.

There is one condition that experts estimate may affect as many as 1 in 20 individuals. It's a spectrum like Autism, but carries with it 428 possible comorbidities.

But to be in this club, your mother had to drink while she was pregnant with you.

Isn't that funny? No? Saturday Night Live thought so.

Their skit, Winter Formal, aired in 2022 and got a ton of backlash. The video has since been removed from most places on the internet, but if you want to see it, you can still find it. Here's the link. Be aware that some of the content may be vulgar.

That's what makes mocking it on TV so painful. Because behind the punchline are people like me. By the way, the punchline is at the end of the video where Donna announces that she drank while she was pregnant.

I was put into foster care shortly after birth with my current family and adopted into it in early childhood.

As an adult, I forgave my birth mother and had the privilege of doing it personally.

But FASD is still with me. Full disclosure, I am not a doctor, medical expert, or educator. The following comes from my own knowledge and experiences. Do your own research or visit FASDunited.org.

FASD is considered a "hidden disability" because many of the effects are neurological. There are some physical traits such as smaller eye sockets, smooth philtrum, smooth or thin upper lip, flattened cheekbones or midface, low nasal bridge, etc.

But for many individuals, even these are not present or barely noticeable. As a result, many end up getting diagnosed for some other condition that has symptoms or effects that come with FASD.

Others struggle with things like ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, or some other mental health issue.

Heart and respiratory issues, hearing and vision disorders may occur as well.

I have numerous health conditions. I know about most of them. They could all be connected to FASD, or only some of them. I don't know.

I was diagnosed with this at birth, and it seemed that when I was put on a new medicine or had a surgery, or looked at myself in the mirror, I’d sometimes have this thought…

"My birth mother drank while she was pregnant with me. That's why I am the way I am."

That's the hidden weight. That's the stigma around this condition.

People may observe physical deformations, as well as behavioral, mental, or emotional struggles, in those affected.

Mothers may feel guilty when they discover they "caused" this in their child.

That's why, like with any other disability, there needs to be awareness. The disability may be hidden, but the strengths can be unseen too.

Those with FASD have many strengths, including yours truly. We need the proper support and tools to thrive.

My adopted mom refused to allow me to mope and feel sorry about myself for long about my condition. She was a warrior in trying to get me the help, accommodation, or support I needed growing up.

She reminded me then and even today of the things that God has helped me overcome and healed in me.

Don't get me wrong, FASD still hurts in more ways than one. I face many struggles and challenges daily. But I am grateful to be alive, and as long as I have strength and as God continues to hold me, I'll move forward.

I am a victor, not a victim!

Glass of champagne? No thanks.

September is FASD Awareness Month. Would you join me in helping spread awareness? Visit FASDUnited.org for more information!

Thanks for reading.

Live Free!

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